Saturday 6 October 2012

Sods and Monsters.

Okay Im sure all of us have read Moby Dick and know the gist. Well theres a number of horror movies that have Ahab like old blokes who uselly have a vendetta with the monster/beast in question. 9 times outta 10 theyv lost a loved one from the creature or just like going mano-a-mano with mother nature and they dont care who gets hurt in the process. So heres my top 3 Ahabs of horror movies.

(1) Quint: Jaws.
Robert Shaws Samuel Quint has to be number one. No doubt about it...this salty sea dog is the other thing that chewing scenery besides the fucking shark. Hes gruff, hes mean, you cant make out what hes saying some times but man is he cool. With Quint your always on edge, you like the guy but your never really sure if hes all there.Will he be the death of Hooper and Brody or will the shark be. The stand out momment is when all the guys are having a male bonding momment and Quint recalls when he served on the Indianapolis and the dark tale lets us know how he understands sharks and why he does what he does.
But Quints stand out momment has to be his death even getting devoured buy the movies title beast he dosent go down with out a fight. Driving a Machete into the creature before being dragged to his doom.
A scary end to a scary man.


(2)Jack Taggart, Sr: Jeepers Creepers 2
So your son is capture and killed buy an unkillable creature and your wrecked with grief. How do you cope with the untimely and aweful death? You  hunt the fucking thing down that what you do. Ray Wise is fucking kick ass in this role. Hes like a salt of the earth farmer who only good thing in life is his son and then he taken and that it....all bets are off. The guy builds, listen to this Im not shitting you...Home made Harpoon launcher outta a post puncher. I mean someone might call the cops or get a lynch mob together or somthing which dumb rednecks do but no not Farmer Taggert this guy goes evil dead Ahab and makes a harpoon. This thing is bad ass, he mounts it to his pick up and turns farm tools into harpoons. Also he,s fuckeing mental...he uses the bus full of kids as bait and when he does bring down the creeper he mounts it up in his barn and keeps the Harpoon aimed at it waiting for it to wake. Really Ray Wise makes this movie.


(3)Jake Cullen: Razorback
This dear old grandad decides to go fry himself some wild bacon when his grandson is killed buy the savage porker. He nearly culls all the boar population in his area but never finds the Pig that killed his grandson.
When some one asks how dangerous a boar really  he reply with one kick ass line that became the movies tag line "It has only two states of being dangerous or dead, there is no inbetween" When he finally confronts the Razorback things dont work out the way he wished and he ends up on the wrong side of the beasts tusks. Still Jake gave our heros enough info to defeat the big boar and get some form of revenge from himself and his grandson.


So what have we learned. Sure mother natures not to be messed with but there are some parents and grandparents that are even meaner then her.