FUBAR Film Review:The Exterminator

Being a Big Super fan of the Punisher people tend to ask me which is my favourite Punisher Movie..is it Dulphs outing as Frank which was shot with ozzy gangsters or maybe the Movie with Tom Janes Frank being the only saving grace to the hole mess or prehaps is Ray Stevensons outting as Castle that fed my hunger for blood with its over the top boring blood letting. My answer is kids its none of these.
The Best Punisher movie in my view isnt even a Punisher flick.

In 1980 grindhouse was still in full swing and the grot mongers were eager to cash in on the Veitnam hype with the likes of deer hunter bringing home the big bucks. Out of an number of godaweful shite came a pretty cool vet-vigilante movie called The Exterminator.

The Movie starts with a bang when some G.Is are captured buy the viet kong and before John Eastland the last member of his unit can chew the wrong side of a machete his Buddy Jefferson turns up with a M-60 and makes charlie into seven types of swiss fucking cheese and pull his buddies ass outta the shit.

So both guys get back home states side and work on the docks together. So when some punks cripple Eastlands buddy he decides to hunt down the scum who fucked up his mate. Then Esterland finds out that Jeffersons boss who is bening strong armed buy the mob wont pay his wife his back pay. So he hunts down that fucker two and makes some use of the dock meatgrinder(do not east taco chips while watching this movie).....and so Esterland deicdes his good at bringing justice to the injust. Pimps.pedos. punks and scum he hunts them all and deals out death via, blades, bullits and fire....he likes fire. Now at this stage your wonder wait this flicks just like death wish. Well trust me it aint...bronson never delt out this much pain and wait till you hear the sub-plot. The paper makes Esterland a hero and name him the Exterminator. Not only do the police freak but the C.I...Fucken....A thinks his a commie agent sent to discredit the American police force and decide to hunt him down.

Robert Ginty is a fucken rockstar in this movie.Hes an ice man and your left wondering is he doing this cause he thinks he's doing the right thing or does he enjoy it. He coins a wicked catchphrease " If your lying...Ill come back for ya" and even makes the world shitest lines sound cool.
Punk : "He was just a N***er!
Easterland: That N***ER WAS MY FRIEND!"
Punk:"Bu-"
Esterlands rifle:BANG
Punks head:POP!
Ginty later went on to do a sequal but it didnt have the same impact as this movie. If I could I have so loved to see him dawn a skull shirt and bomb around in a blacked out van. So whos my  favourite Punisher? Robert Ginty thats who motherfucker and if you dont like it....Ill come back for ya!

Watch if you liked/Aviod if you hated
Deathwish
The Punisher
Taxie Driver
The London riots



FUBAR Film Classic Review: The Wild Bunch

So I came home today to the tragic news that the great Ernest Borgnine Died today. Alot of you guys might have known him from Air Wolf but to me he'll always be Dutch in the Wild Bunch and with this sad news I decided to slap in my dvd copy of the flick and rewatch it and boy I forgot how good it was.
First off you should know that the Wild Bunch was directed buy Sam Peckinpah the man who made slow motion violance an artform. Pieckinpah didnt like conventions of normal Hollywood...the guy was afucking maverick and the Wild Bunch is where this really shines through. Made in 1969 when the concept of wild west movies were begining to die off the silver screen and the war in Veitnam was taking its tole on the united states the Wild Bunch bled out everything Peckinpah was feeling at the time.

This was a western unlike any other. The heros were not heros but outlaws who were cold blood in their efforts to survive a  changeing world. Led buy Pike Bishop whom is played buy Willeam Holden who is one badass motherfucker in this flick, the gang gun down innocent men and women in an effort to escape an ambush buy a group of hired guns and Pikes former partner Deke. These guys then decide to go mexico way and hire themselves out as mercs for a former bandido warlord named Mapache. He hires our boys to rob a train filled with U.S arms. The boys do rob the train only thing is Deke crew are onboard and give case. Now Im not going to give away this part buy how the lads escape the posse but its wicked and makes me wonder if Peckinpah hated horses.

So the boys escape and make it back with the goodies for Mapaches army, only thing is one of their own is related to the rebals who the worlord is fighting and he gets himself in a sticky situation. Bishop having displayed a cold and almost cruel outlook on the world from the start of the movie decides even that they got their reward from Mapache  that they should go back an save their commrade even if it means certain death. What happens is what I can only call one of the best gunbattles in movie history.

Why do I love this movie so much. In my view its one of the last purest westrens...The good guys arnt good guys ...their not even nice guys. I mean Ernest Borgnine useing a mexican peasent girl as a human fucking shield, the Bunch trample a group of chruch folk to death as they escape the ambush and they even end up turning on one of their own cause he was trying to do the right thing....but thats the whole point of this movie. Guys like Billy the kid and Jesse James were killers not the folk heros their were made out to be, if you wanted to survive back then you had to be ruthless. Yet despite all this you stick with these guys because their trying to survive in an age that no longer wants them...their dinosaurs on the way out and they have their own bizzare code of honour which they do seem to stick buy.Pike speech is excellet when he scolds one of the gang for attacking a his fellow outlaw "When you side with a man you stick with him...if you dont your just an animal."This statement later  resonates with Pike and he decides to make faithful choice that proves hes not just a beast trying to survive.
Also one cant help feel that Peckinpah was reflecting his own views on the Veitnam war...that while the U.S were indeed the good guys were didnt always do nice things to win fights.

Another reason I loved this movie is the Bunch themselves being a representation of the old west, a time and an ideal which is being killed buy the advanceing railroad and with it a new America. This theme has appeared from time to time in other westren movie but the only time Ive seen it been used to its full potentional is actully in a vido game I love, Red Dead Redemption. This game also shares the theme of the dieing west and an outlaw whos become a relic of his time although John Marston has more in Common with Deke rather then pike. The games also takes other nodds and ques from the movie such as helping mexican rebals,  hunting down your former outlaws for the goverment/railroad even your fromer parnters called Dutch after Borgnines character. All in all the Wild Bunch is one of the best westrens of all time and deserves a lads night in watch.

R.I.P Ernest Borgnine

January 24, 1917 – July 8, 2012

FUBAR Film Review Classic: DOG SOLDIERS

Hard to belive its been 10 years since one of my top cult horror movies of all time came out. Dog Soldiers was one of the first in a line of gritty British Horror which begane to spring up along side 28 days later in the early naughtys.
The Story was simple take a bunch of likeable Bristish Squadys and pit them agenst werewolves. From the outset this is a blokes movie and you really like the lads which makes it even more compelling as their picked off one buy one. They talk like real blokes theres no "when I get home bullshit."
Kevin MCKidd is exellent as Copper the straightlace buy the book soldier who takes charge and is very reminiscent of Hicks from Aliens. Sean Pertwee  is another actor who shines as the salt of the earth Sargent Welles who dosent want to lose his men. But the scene stealer of the flick is my fan faveriote Irish actor Liam Cunningham as the slimy black ops commander Ryane. The man drips venom and Marshell sets you up to hate in very early in the film buy displaying his sheer crultey.
The movie also pulls an Evil Dead 2 buy jumping between horror and humour without ever sideing with one or the other. In one scene theres a tool up/weapons search((with epic background music)) of the house and you have one of the soldiers finding an electric turkey carver and considers useing it for a momment or two. Then theres private Spoon, the gung-ho nutball and some of his one liners....this is a bloke who gets into a fist fight with a werewolf and when hes about to be eaten says.
"I hope I give you the shits you fucken wimp" The one liners christ this movie got some wicked one liners...their so good youd wish you were in mortal danger so you could use them. Welles looks down at his intestines splayed out across his chest and groans "sausages" and when Copper is finished adressing the men with his battle plan he finishs with " and put the kettle on the boil we could all do with a brew."

This movie is sheer gold and its not suprising Neil Marshell went on to do the Descent what I consider to be up their with Alien in the atmosphere stakes.In all his movies you can see hes a fan and loves movies as much as the people he makes them for. He references everything from Hitchcock to Rami paying homage to those generes. Hes a movie lovers director, this can be seen in his savage  Roman invasion flick Centurion which looked epic on a small budget and it was this that snagged him the job of directing episode 9 in the second season of Game of Thrones which is supposed to be one epic battle called Blackwater.
 So Dog Soldiers in my mind is one of the coolest bloke movies ever and if you do intend on watching it call your mates over, break open a sixpack and prepare to "Howel "with laughter and excitement.

Watch it if you liked: Zulu,Alien, Evil Dead 2,Predator ,Jaws and the Howling or if your a bloke my age!



Trailer Trash

So yeahe this looks intresting to say the least....was their ever anyone so dickheaded or cuntish you just want to kill them.



Behold a movie we can all relate to in this shitty day and age.



Top 5 movies you never watch with a date.

There are some movies that are gorey and just plain aweful but you know your grirlfriend can stick them but on the off chance you havent seen or herd of any of these you might want to give snuggling up on the couch to watch these with herself a miss unless you never require sex agien or just like having a restraining order.

(1) Antichrist
Okay so a couple loses their child and decides to retreat to the woods to reflect and repair their relationship.
Things turn trippy and the two breakdown into an orgey of sex and Violance where neither regions are hacked, sliced and crushed. Family entertainment this is not.



(2) Last Tango in Paris
Two strangers decide to have a steamy affier in the most romantic city in the world but their idea of sexy time is far from fucking romantic. Lets just say Marlon Brando and butter should never be aloud in the same room agien...ever!!!

(3) Showgirls
Lads before you think this is Mulion Rouge it aint. Sure its got some dance numbers...featureing more T and A then a copy of playboy. This fucking movie is a shambles from start to finish and can only be of any merrit if your a 14 year old boy looking for  a wankfest. Dont even get my started on the sex scene that looks more like dolphins getting it on which would make an awkward momment all that more painfull.



(4) The Devide

The world ends and a handful of poor souls are trapped in a basement of an apartment building wondering whats going on outside. As the food runs scarce and tensions rise the unit breaks off into packs. What follows is rape, toture ,murder and crossdressing. A mental flick which I enjoyed for its bleak outlook but not a flick you watch with the girl you want to spend the rest of you life with.

(5) Irreversible
A savage rape revenge thriller that starts from the end and works it way back to the start of the movie. Its a tough watch but not really the movie you suggest to watch with your partner. This movie dosent shock so much a burn every sense in your body.





So if you stumped for somthing to watch for the love of christ dont pick these for its better to watch a shitty movie together then have to spend the rest of your nights alone.

Badass box art for 80s horror movies.

When it comes to videos the box art can surpass the flick. This is no more evident than in 80s horror movies check out some of these video covers.

(1) First off Primal Rage ((not to be mistaken for the video game although both feature a savage ape creature))

(2) Leviathan. Robocop vs a mutant underwater in this dire Aliens/ thing rip off.

(3) Night of the Creeps. Aliens,Zombie and slugs....pretty fun flick

(4) Galaxy of Terror. Rogar Cormans dodgey Alien knock off that Jim Cameron ironicly did the set design for. Trash but the poster makes it seem like a pulp schocker.





(5) Hell comes to frog town. Roddy Piper pulls a Duke Nukem buy saving slave girls from mutant frogs then saves the world buy bonking them. Pure gash but in a fun way and the box art trys to give it some sense of style.....But mutant frogs can never be made princes if Roddy pipers killing em.

Just remeber never judge a book buy its cover and sure as fuck never judge an 80s horror buy its box art.



Top five smoking hot scream Queens.

Forget the dumb blonde who runs upstairs when the killer/monster/ ghost is stalking the house the real female selling point in a horror movie for me is the chick that is hot but can handle herself. Heres my list of some badass babes who dont fall to shit when the body count rises.

(1)Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Cute, hot and tough in equal measure Mary Elisabeth Winstead is my top choice for best scream queen. While she did end up on the chopping block in both Final Destination 3 and Black X-mas she didnt go down without a fight. She later appeared in Deathproof wearing a cheerleader uniform that sure as shit went easy on the eyes but the main stable for me picking her was when she Ripelyed out for the Thing prequal. She played Kate Loyd as both highly intelligent and resourceful woman who could hold her own. Mary you got got that girl nextdoor thing with the tough dont mess with me sexyness another reason you got the number one spot.



(2)Rose McGowan

Theres somthing almost femme fatal about Rose McGowan, theres an almost exotic darkness to her but then agien she was engaged to Marilyn Manson and you cant get much darker then that. Her rep as a scream queen started in a bizzare sexually charged horror called Doom Generation and then she hit the big time in Scream (Her death involved being crushed buy a screen door).She later stared in that cult hit Phantoms with Ben Afflick. She Played Duel roles in the Grind house feature but it was her part in Planet Terror that she really left her mark. As Cherry Darling she kicked zombie ass as the stripper with a fucking M-16 for a leg.

She Later played a creepy yet sexy witch in the Conan reboot showing she hadent lost her touch as a bad girl. Rose you might be a bad girl but your sure as hell good at it and thats what get you 2nd place.

(3)Radha Mitchell
The real selling point for care for a person in a horror movie for me is that person has to care for some one else in the moving too. Their child, their spouse, their family. The exellent Australian actress Radha Mitchell always brings a great level of emotion to most of the thriller/horror movies shes and proves shes not just eye candy. Be she the space pilot trying to save her crew from savage Aliens in Pitch Black or the mother trying to rescue her daughter in Silent Hill she always brings an emotional depth not found in many horror movies.
Her stand out preformance I think is in the Crazies. She plays the wife of the Sheriff and town doctor both who have to try and survive an outbreak of a madness due to abio-weapon released in the water supply. She show real distraught at the events taking place and sadness when she knows that she cant save the people she swore to take care of. Radha my dear your our number three.

(4)Danielle Harris
This girl has been a scream queen a long time. At age ten she appeared in Halloween 4 and 5 appearing a Michael Myers neice and intended victim. Her role left such an impact on the series Rob Zombie brought her back for his remakes now a mature young woman Danielle could play a more dangerous and sexy role.
Danielle has appeared also in Hachet 2 and the fantastic Stakeland. It would seem Danielle was born to play Darker more scarey roles which most girls would make a muck of. Danielle keep up the good work and we,ll keep you at number 4.

(5)Jamie Lee Curtis

The Queen mother of scream queen Jamie Lee proved that women didnt have to be victims for the demented killer in slasher movies. He break out role in the first Halloween was the springboard for most modren horror movie heroines.She was the go too girl for tough horror movies having stared in Halloween, The Fog, Prom Night, and Terror Train. Even staring in the comic book adaption of Dark Horses  Virus she proved she could still kick ass. Jamie Lee at number five you round off our list of Scream Queens thank you.

So if ever buy chance you trapped in a house with a killer make sure stick with the levelheaded chick who wouldnt let you feel her up....chances are youll live longer.